Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
