So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
