Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
