Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
