just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
