Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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