I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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