just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
