No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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