had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
