I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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