last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
