just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my being single is dangerous.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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