couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize