this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
