Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions? http://tfl.nu/20lq
  Replies (21) Good night (584) Bad night (3599)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them http://tfl.nu/lo0z
  Replies (24) Good night (5377) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  consequently i now know what mace tastes like

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): consequently i now know what mace tastes like http://tfl.nu/a9b7
  Replies (11) Good night (1550) Bad night (5749)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit... http://tfl.nu/oz8a
  Replies (11) Good night (4841) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  there were a lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am... (1-918): there were a lot. http://tfl.nu/x7ld
  Replies (29) Good night (6441) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table. http://tfl.nu/8dv6
  Replies (7) Good night (4238) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish http://tfl.nu/fk29
  Replies (12) Good night (2801) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight http://tfl.nu/9jn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1894) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches. http://tfl.nu/nznf
  Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (1776)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger http://tfl.nu/5a5x
  Replies (10) Good night (1166) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum http://tfl.nu/wc4p
  Replies (5) Good night (537) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life http://tfl.nu/86aw
  Replies (6) Good night (522) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe. http://tfl.nu/ihd3
  Replies (3) Good night (704) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon. http://tfl.nu/2uoq
  Replies (8) Good night (413) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot http://tfl.nu/zrh0
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (277)

Randomize