Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive