Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now