dude i'm inner monologue high
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night