If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.