if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
