I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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