Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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