we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Shame is for Republicans.
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