I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
