She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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