she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
