ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
