mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize