super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize