You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
