Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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