Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize