idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
