I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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