I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Hippo gnu deer
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
