i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
