i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
