can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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