It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My dad just said "fuck circus"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
