i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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