but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
