I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
