oh god the rape fog is back!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
