fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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