I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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