Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
