butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
