Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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