I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
