do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
