oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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