My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He passed out mid-signature
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
