I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize