I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
