omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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