It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
