how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize