"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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