I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
