You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
