Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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