speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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