belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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