Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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